ADSactly Short Stories - Twenty Eight

last month
73 in adsactly

The man quietly walked into the bar, approached the bar section and almost as if in a trance pulled out a gun and shot the man eating with the wife. He shot the man five times. The soft pop-pop sound was dwarfed by the heavy rock sound coming from the gigantic speakers. The man had a surprised look on his face but the wife was frozen in shock as was everyone who witnessed the scene. The rest of the late diners continued eating and talking, oblivious to the incident that just unravelled.


Source


Looking at the scene, a bystander would have thought that the man's wife was also shot judging by the amount of blood on her white blouse.
She sat still for some seconds which looked like entirety. Then out of her lungs came the most piercing scream ever. It rose above the beats coming from the gigantic speakers but the sound of her scream sounded louder to people outside than the diners and drinkers inside.

The DJ was forced to momentarily remove his earphone and look around. When he saw the screaming woman and the blood he turned off the music. The woman was still screaming. People oblivious to what just happened started scrambling through the exit. In the melee, the assassin quietly put back the long silenced 9mm Beretta PX4 Storm Compact into the specially designed suit gun harness and walked unhurriedly out of the cafe.

As he reached the car parked about some 100m away, his phone rang. He picked it and said,

"Done. Just the way you ordered. Eyewitnesses, wife and everyone saw it happen."

He listened to the voice on the other line.

"Yes, I have sent the message, no one would dare look into your affairs. I need another passport and 50 large."

He listened some more to the voice at the other end of the line.

"Yes, boss. I guarantee you, no one would poke their snout where it don't belong. If anyone does, just say the word and I will pop them for you free of charge," the gunman said.

He listened again.

"As you wish boss. I did not take pictures. But you would soon be watching it on TV," said the gunman and hung up.

As soon as he hung up the call, he looked ahead and saw the flashing lights. The police have arrived. But as usual, late for the twenty-seventh time. This is getting old, he thought.

He bent and lowered himself on the car seat and banged the door shut. He was about to turn the ignition when he noticed the ignition wire seemed to have been tampered with. He paused. His thin lips parted revealing his tobacco-stained teeth in a mirthless smile. The smile made him look like a hungry hyena starring at two little rabbits caught by some twine in the bush. He quietly opened the car door leaving the ignition key in the ignition.

He hummed his favourite song from childhood, Anything You Can Do, I Can Do it Better. I can do everything better than you. As usual, he couldn't resist the part that followed so he said aloud, "No you can't. Yes, I can."

Then he extracted his wallet from his hip pocket with an exaggerated care and brought out one crumbled $50 note. He walked towards a dark alley where he spotted the person he was looking for - a youth with unruly hair, injecting some liquid into his left arm.

"Hey mate, care to make some money?" He asked the man with needle-riddled spots on his arm.

The man looked suspiciously at him and said nothing. His attitude suddenly changed when the gunman brought out the folded $50 and waved it in his face. The reaction was immediate but nothing on earth would prevent him from shooting up whatever was in that syringe.

"What would you like? You need company?" The drug addict asked with a leering grin.

"Oh, not that, I'm a man of the collar, I want.."

The drug addict cut him off:

"Oh, nothing to be ashamed of, even the clergies come here every once in a while you know... to look around." He winked drunkenly at him.

"Just something simple, I have a problem with my legs. I can't seem to walk the 100m where I parked my car. Can you help me bring it around here? I'd pay $50 for your troubles." he begged, his face, a mask of discomfort, not that the meth head needed it.

"Are you sure it is your car?" Suddenly the man appeared to not be as foolish as he thought.

"Of course it's my car, see the driving licence here with me. You can take it, compare it with the plate number when you get there."

This explanation seemed to convince the man.

"I am no fool, you'd have to pay me half now and the other half when I get back."

"Fair enough, here is $25." He counted out $25 and gave him.

He stretched out the needle riddled hand and collected it.

As he walked towards the car, the gunman moved a little more under the shadows and watched him intently. It took him about 5 minutes for the addict to get to where it was parked. He entered the car and started it.

Nothing happened. Well, he thought, I just wasted $50. His phone was ringing. He picked it. The number was hidden.

"Please! Please!! Do not enter the car. Do not enter the car! Dylan never planned to pay you. Instead, he rigged the car with explosives that would kill you." The mystery caller dropped the call. Who the heck was that? He wondered.

The car was now about thirty feet now and he could make out the toothless grin of the drug addict. Then it exploded in every direction and there was nothing but the frame of the car.



Source

The blast wave threw him some good twenty feet away. It hurt him badly. He touched his lips and it was bleeding. He managed to stand up and surveyed the tattered crap that was his vehicle.

Dylan. He thought. The man who he had just killed for, wanted him dead. He patted his suit and his 9mm is there. His eyes bloodshot he checked the remaining bullets left in his gun. Ten was still there. It was not enough, he picked some extra bullets from his back pocket and reloaded. His thoughts filled with vicious rage for Dylan. He limped towards the car park, his mind has only one image; a bloodied Dylan lying dead in a hail of his bullets.

"Twenty-eight," he snarled as he limped on.

The End.

Authored by: @greenrun

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Sort Order:  trending
52
  ·  last month

What I like the most about the story, and what the readers should notice if they want to understand what is alluring in this story - is that a main part of the story stays "hidden" from us - why was the man assassinated? Who is that assassin? Why did the boss want him dead? Why is the dead count significant?
That's what makes the story so enjoyable - you are not constricted to a definite detailed story - you are provided with a good frame and you should let your imagination fill the gaps with whatever pops up.
I am now reminded of a series of books I read when I was young - in certain pages you had the option to skip to a few options of the continuation of the story and sort of great your own entwined and tangled plot. It was fascinating as a child but today I prefer stories like this one you just read as it lets you have countless plots.

Thanks for an interesting and imagination provoking story!
Nati.

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63
  ·  last month

Thank you for the insightful comment, the plot could go anyway if you want to develop it into a longer story.

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25
  ·  last month

I get this feeling that you've played Shadowrun before. At the very least, you know what I'm talking about. I like the style of writing. It's similar to how I picture putting stories together in my head. It almost motivates me enough to write a short story/scenario of my own....almost. Maybe life needs to give me a dose of serotonin to put me in the mood for it. Or, maybe I should just stop being a bitch. Hmm, yeah, the second one makes more sense.

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63
  ·  last month

No. I have not played such a game. Go ahead and drop those thoughts in writing. Thanks for reading.

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16
  ·  last month

GREAT POST!Help me Follow x Follow From venezuela

53
  ·  last month

Awesome!
May I ask who wrote it?

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63
  ·  last month

I did. Thank you.

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16
  ·  last month

are the best

60
  ·  last month

it's good!

46
  ·  last month

Great Post!. Interesting Story. I want more of this. Keep it up

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40
  ·  last month

hi @sonia132
I just joined steemit and post my introduce.
Warm regards :)

46
  ·  last month

Great Post!. Interesting Story. I want more of this. Keep it up

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56
  ·  last month

Have a read of mine, let me know what you think..

49
  ·  last month

Great story! I used the same picture for my story a few days ago... weird. If you liked this story, you might like the ones I posted!

https://steemit.com/story/@jadegreene/short-fiction-surviving

https://steemit.com/fiction/@jadegreene/short-story-the-waiting-game

56
  ·  last month

Good story. I have just written one myself and decided to see what was already out there. Mines based on my own experiences. Is this one? Would be real interesting if it was.

61
  ·  last month

always cool stories, thanks for sharing.

46
  ·  last month

Thanks for sharing. BTW. Very nice website design. I'm gonna put some funds in dether.io.

46
  ·  last month

Nice Story. You should try to make a long story about the first 26 Numbers:-)

56
  ·  last month

Thrilling 28.

55
  ·  last month

A story that draws into WoW and drifts together!
I keep breathing while reading :)
you are really very successful in this matter. maybe you should start writing novels :)
I would be your first reader!
congratulations

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63
  ·  last month

That was a nice compliment. Thanks a lot

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46
  ·  last month

Wow wow wow!!! I need more of this, what a story... pls do you @greenrun write novels? I want to subscribe, you are amazing and an awesome writer, thank you and bless you for sharing, we are even because i m also doing what i love doing which is singing that is what my blog is meant for, i ll be most grateful if you visit my blog please, you wont be disappointed @greenrun... tank you for sharing, i m anticipating for more of this thank you

53
  ·  last month

that crime story made my day at work thanks!!

now I can go hum "Anything you can do, I can do it better" all day, I dont want to thank for that tho.

Couldnt speed read it in like 2 minuts like some of the others could sadly.

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63
  ·  last month

It is all good. I'm glad you read it. Thanks a lot.

51
  ·  last month

And in the end the reader is left wondering :

Who on earth was the mystery caller who ratted out on Dylan and why?

What's Dylan gonna do once he finds out he's been ratted on?

Will killing number 28 ever take place or will the killer go straight to his grave ?

Ok that's about it ... HOw about part 2? :)

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63
  ·  last month

Still thinking of whether to let it end or continue. Thank you for reading.

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51
  ·  last month

Please do!

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52
  ·  last month

I think you should continue it...
It is really captivating....you write well 👍

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63
  ·  last month

Thank you @ponmile

30
  ·  last month

This was awesome! Instantly gripping and I love the themes that you explored here.
I write short stories, also. They're more like surrealist anecdotes, to be honest, but I really appreciate your style of writing. Keep it up!

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63
  ·  last month

Thank you.

46
  ·  last month

The blast wave threw him some good twenty feet away. It hurt him badly. He touched his lips and it was bleeding. He managed to stand up and surveyed the tattered crap that was his vehicle.

Damn. That must have been a really awful situation he just experienced.
Such an amazing fiction

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63
  ·  last month

Thank you for reading.

46
  ·  last month

Wow, nice story. I'm excited he picked the call despite that the number was hidden. That saved his life. He would have been exploded to ashes with the car. Some of us don't answer calls with hidden number. I've learned. Thanks for the story.

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63
  ·  last month

You never really know who is on the other line, do we? I think its good to answer all calls.

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46
  ·  last month

Exactly @greenrun. That I have learned from the story. Thank you.

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40
  ·  last month

Very interesting story

38
  ·  last month

Wow, nice story. I'm excited he picked the call although the number was hidden. He saved his life. He had exploded to ashes with the car. Some of us don't answer calls with a hidden number. I learned. Thanks for the story.

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63
  ·  last month

The call came late in a way, but Dylan is a suspicious man I must confess :)

56
  ·  last month

Excellent story, @greenrun! I enjoyed it.

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63
  ·  last month

Thanks for reading.

48
  ·  last month

Very nicely written. I really like that you gave us some explicit details (the gun for instance) but mostly left the scene to the reader.

Thanks for a great read. And I'm sure I'll be humming 'Anything you can do...' all day long.

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63
  ·  last month

I'm glad you like the story. Thank you for reading.

52
  ·  last month

are you a professional writer? you followed all rules of writing like pause, suspense, love

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63
  ·  last month

I'm not a professional writer by any chance. Thanks for reading.

38
  ·  last month

Hope this is fiction,one funny lesson I have learned from the story is that store your money in your crypto currency wallet instead of the real wallet...Besides that I like old western cowboy movies...the Magnificent 7 acted by Denzel Washington is the latest I have watched....Thank you for making my day

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63
  ·  last month

Thank you too for reading, crypto rules :)

51
  ·  last month

This was good fiction. Although, I noticed that there were punctuations missing. Some grammatical errors too but all in all this was good.
Would love to know what the assassin will do to Dylan when he finds him.
Like the suspense that the unknown caller brings. Who is the caller?

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63
  ·  last month

I wish I know who that caller was and what Dylan would do. Thanks for reading.

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51
  ·  last month

lol... you wrote it? Nice work! You better come on and spill your little secrets!

37
  ·  last month

It's really nice story

Thanks to share with us.

@alexKARKI

48
  ·  last month

Your imagination will work while reading every bit of sentence in the story, as if you are reading or even watching an assassin related movie. You took our imagination to a higher level. Thanks for the wonderful story.

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63
  ·  last month

Thanks for the kind compliments. We appreciate every reader's comments.

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48
  ·  last month

So you are the writer? how come the story posted with different username? ;)

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73
  ·  last month

He is the author and also signed now. Somehow the signature got lost in transfer. All ADSactly blog posts are written by our members.

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53
  ·  last month

I hope someday I can share something that might be nice ... :) @adsactly

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48
  ·  last month

Me too I love to share something someday. @adsactly thank you for the answer.

46
  ·  last month

Vote back

53
  ·  last month

Interesting nice story. You can be better than those writer with their books in book stores.

41
  ·  last month

This is a very informative post

47
  ·  last month

Again to see your story @adsactly, something people maybe can take from your story... keep writing and give good news...

43
  ·  last month

Interesting story.

46
  ·  last month

The post is very amazing, very menginfirasi begi we all stemian ,, guide us so we can like you .. regards steemit

47
  ·  last month

What awesome story! Feelings define us as people and show us what we want to become on this earth to the end.

25
  ·  last month

Really interesting..
more grease to your elbow

36
  ·  last month

Great story, nice plot. Thanks for sharing.

45
  ·  last month

Wow..... What a story. Thank you for sharing. This could be script.

43
  ·  last month

Good writing..Much obliged for sharing it.

49
  ·  last month

i loved this .. i love stoires and i am writer so i know how does it feel

49
  ·  last month

Amazing story

Upvoted and resteemed

53
  ·  last month

Great post with awesome story and photography.
But feeling sorry for this woman in this photograph....

39
  ·  last month

Nice story @adsactly. I do appreciate the fact that you took out time to think of something and share with others. I upvote you.

42
  ·  last month

thanks for post
its really awesome

41
  ·  last month

neis post

40
  ·  last month

i apricate to you.this is the nice story.i will wait for your next post.thanks a lot

44
  ·  last month

Wow an amazing post.

60
  ·  last month

A very nice story. In real life I prefer to watch Action/ Thriller movies and this story seems to be the right one ! Good work, keep it up :)

29
  ·  last month

Blasting post love it

39
  ·  last month

Wow! Great Post! @adsactly I Can see That You always Post Valuable Content therefore People always Like Your Post. I am New Here and I just Saw Your Post and I really Liked It.

39
  ·  last month

@adsactly I just Followed You because Don't want to miss Your any Post.

Thanks again

25
  ·  last month

Interesting post

40
  ·  last month

nice post and interisting story @adsactly
I just joined steemit and post my introduce.
Warm regards :)

46
  ·  last month

Such an engaging story it is. Little more editing and it is 10/10. Keep writing such stories as I also write short stories and love reading what others create. It helps me also learn a lot about story writing.

45
  ·  last month

Wow.... This story is really good. More of it please 🙏

49
  ·  last month

Good story,, creative,,
I like...
U're the best @adsactly

48
  ·  last month

Amazing post i like your post have a nice day.

53
  ·  last month

unexpected for me, it is very interesting to read, the author has a talent. Reading intrigues and creates an atmosphere. I would gladly read more

23
  ·  last month

My chest was pumping hard when i was reading:)).Nice one.

42
  ·  last month

Nic post

45
  ·  last month

Wonderful! it is really interesting story.

32
  ·  last month

Great Post!. Interesting Story.

Keep sharing....

52
  ·  last month

uaohhhhh, what a story!!!!

47
  ·  last month

Wonderful story! Keep your pen bleeding

42
  ·  last month

Hey, nice story line, it is interesting. I am following you, can you follow me @ xtophercruzeu thanks

39
  ·  last month

This is really awesome, read every bit of it. The suspense and the connection, wish I could do something like this.

35
  ·  last month

just awesome story

44
  ·  last month

Beautiful piece
I love your work

49
  ·  last month

OMG. This short story is so interesting. I didn't want it to stop. Please continue!!!

44
  ·  last month

Great Post!. Interesting Story. I want more of this. Keep it up.

33
  ·  last month

very nice literally work,interesting and indeed very funny

47
  ·  last month

Amazing story i always love your stories,thank you for sharing.

49
  ·  last month

Did you write it? You're so good! The tension!

45
  ·  last month

very good writing, makes me want to write too, but whatever power I do not have the ability as good as you

36
  ·  last month

very good post

33
  ·  last month

woo woo. excelent

57
  ·  last month

I love your post! It's what I like to share with my followers! Im Following you and I also Resteem it!

25
  ·  last month

I felt that adrenaline rush! Pure talent, am impressed. You clearly have a remarkable imagination.

31
  ·  last month

wow amazing photo sir ..Upvote and Resteem your post ....

http://gif-finder.com/oh-wow/

38
  ·  last month

This is a very amazing story, I pray to grow up to be like you in the nearest future, I admire your artistic expertise.

43
  ·  last month

Hmmmm! This is captivating. Very interesting story. Good job!

34
  ·  last month

Excellent story, a little bit short but a very interesting @adsactly

25
  ·  last month

Karma in action! Dylan was about to get his own, am sure the gun man's karma isn't far away!

30
  ·  last month

a very interesting story with much suspense

33
  ·  last month

Hola bienvenido ah esta maravillosa comunidad te deceo mucho éxitos y que aprendas cosas nueva te saluda tu amigo @ yoelvis11 desde Venezuela

32
  ·  last month

great info

25
  ·  last month

“The truth." Dumbledore sighed. "It is a beautiful and terrible thing, and should therefore be treated with great caution.”

25
  ·  last month

“The truth." Dumbledore sighed. "It is a beautiful and terrible thing, and should therefore be treated with great caution.”

40
  ·  last month

Love this story so much Thank you for the story!

45
  ·  last month

wow amazing story ...
as i'm your new follower and i haven't read it's previous parts so it's bit confusing for me to give any though on it ..but i'll study the story thoroughly and then i'll share my thoughts .
btw i like your way of writing ..
Thanks for sharing ..

48
  ·  last month

Good job

47
  ·  last month

#mindblown
makes you want to shake your brain just so you can get some clues on whats happening. why is the man killed, who killed the man, whats with the dead count and other questions that will remain a question.
Had fun reading this. Thanks. :)

29
  ·  last month

Good day! Thanks for the useful information.

25
  ·  last month

Thanks @adsactly, for this lovely post, and thank you for sharing. Just joined the platform and would love to know more about how I can submit short stories to this community. I am an author and I have a book written that I will like to share chapter by chapter on adsactly short stories or other related communities. Kindly point me in the right direction. Thank you once again for sharing. Upvoted and followed

37
  ·  last month

Good

25
  ·  last month

The first part of the restaurant is a very common scene in my country, Venezuela. Great story

41
  ·  last month

An interesting story!

45
  ·  last month

Creative! Also if you need to talk to someone you should def reach out, some of that is pretty dark. :)

33
  ·  last month

Great post, love reading everything u post @adsactly

42
  ·  last month

Awosome story bro keep it up

28
  ·  last month

Wow great piece of information, really enjoyed. Keep posting I have followed you and keep upvoting your best posts. Please follow me too for best posts.

46
  ·  last month

I loved the story it kept me intrigued. Would love to read more of your work@absactly

25
  ·  last month

I wanted to turn the page and read the next chapter. Well done.

41
  ·  last month

Awesome read! At the beginning I had to wonder if this was actually a first hand account from a very unlucky bystander.

37
  ·  last month

Bolehkah saya bertanya kenapa anda bisa seperti itu.
Saya sukak tulisan anda 👍

38
  ·  last month

Oww great story you catch my mind man.

43
  ·  last month

This post very nice..Great stories ..I appreciate this post..Thanks.

32
  ·  last month

Suspense filled!
You got me glued all through.
Well done !

37
  ·  last month

Nice post

49
  ·  last month

for a moment I felt like I just read a chapter from the book Agatha's

45
  ·  last month

Love it, awsome story.

48
  ·  last month

Nice story. I do appreciate the fact that you took out time to think of something and share with others. For that sir, I upvote you.

38
  ·  last month

Sooooo, I know that this is going to ruin my Steem reputation and I am fine with it. Did anyone proof read this before they posted it? There are syntax errors and grammatical errors throughout and I thought the expectation was to post only quality content. That's not to say there isn't a lot of positive things about this piece of writing, because their are. It just isn't professional quality and needed to have been properly proof-read and edited before posting.

47
  ·  last month

Okay... you're not going to leave us hanging are you? I mean, what was that all about? Who called to warn him? Who is Dylan, by the way, and why did he want the man he paid to have killed dead?

Nice writing. Enthralling. :)

45
  ·  last month

This is a story that touch👍.. I'd like to resteem @adsactly

40
  ·  last month

post that love to read it ... amazing
and please vote have me yes
Thank

39
  ·  last month

Wao Amazing Post I Just follow you for more interesting Post @adsactly

44
  ·  last month

Great story enjoyed reading it.

25
  ·  last month

"Real story a man shoot an unarmed man and killed 1 of the bullets that he fired goes in the tree after 20 years he try to cut that tree for wood .The saw touched the bulled and the bulled goes straight in his chest and killed him ".

42
  ·  last month

Wow! The story is so intriguing
I wish it didnt have to end.
Hoping to read more from you 😊😊😊

37
  ·  last month

Best content friend, please follow back

69
  ·  last month

Congratulations @adsactly!
Your post was mentioned in the hit parade in the following category:

  • Pending payout - Ranked 4 with $ 709,39
44
  ·  last month

you're clearly very a success in this be counted. perhaps you need to start writing novels :) i might be your first reader!..........................:):):)

congratulations :):)

@Upvote

49
  ·  last month

nice story! O.O

49
  ·  last month

A very moving event, that's how our life is now, no matter what, we have entered a period of life without existence

42
  ·  last month

Wow, Amazing piece of a story i must say, full of suspense and like @kivsha said, very imagination provoking. Left me really with questions like "why did he just decide to waste a soul so abruptly? An innocent one for that and who must have known about the scheme to have called to warn the drunk fellow?

Well, i think these and more are what makes the story so interesting. I enjoyed every bit of creativity deplayed in this one really! Cheers!

25
  ·  last month

I like the fact that it feels like I can imagine the story and be in it. I wish there was more to it!

35
  ·  last month

woow very interesting !!! you showld write on guru.com

47
  ·  last month

Reading your story was like watching a movie! Very well colored with just the right words. I'm hoping that there will be more soon.

43
  ·  last month

I was curious where the idea for this story came from?

43
  ·  last month

Awesome....... Great post...
I love this post...

25
  ·  last month

I wish there was more to the story but I loved having to fill in the gaps with my own imagination. Great work!

58
  ·  last month

I loved reading the story. Kept me on edge as I was scrolling down. Keep it up.

I like to take photos, write poems, and animate. Please come check out some of my recent posts which include many shots from a non-tropical Rainforest! Again, thanks for being a valuable Steemian!

46
  ·  last month

Good post, I am a photographer, it passes for my blog and sees my content, I hope that it should be of your taste :D greetings

54
  ·  last month

Nice story. Simple, direct, ballsy.
Joe
@joe.nobel
science fiction, fantasy, erotica
check out some posts, no obligation

43
  ·  last month

Bravo.. Post good

53
  ·  last month

Awesome writing as usual. Several mysteries baked into it (who made the unnecessary life-saving call? Why is our assassin counting his kills? Does he plan to stop at 30? 40? Himself? lol)

54
  ·  last month

Great story, I truly love it!